Today’s law comes from Deuteronomy 24:5. This one is actually a little scary to me. Let’s read it.

If a man is newly married he must not join the army and do not pester him at home. He must be left at home, free of all obligation for one year, to cheer up his new wife.

Look at the last few words of that verse. Does it seem to you that there is an assumption made that the mere act of getting married is going to make a woman miserable? It seems that we men really suck. I mean not only does this verse say that we males have to cheer up our wife, but we are going to need a full year to do it. To add to that we need every possible second of it we can get because we aren’t even supposed to work or anything. We are to spend 24 hours a day, 7 days a week for the first year doing this cheering up thing.

I truly believe I was a lucky man to end up with the woman I did as my wife, but this verse makes me believe that each and every male of the species should feel like scum. Truth be told we probably are a lot of the time, but that is beside the point. I’d like to feel like my wife got at least a little something to be happy about just by marrying me in the first place

I must admit that my wife was terrific at hiding her misery that first year. I didn’t see it. Maybe that just has to do with the infamous thing they always say to us men about not noticing anything. Who knows?

What is it about marrying us guys is that is supposed to make women so terribly miserable anyway? And how is it that the very thing that made the newly married woman so depressed to start with is now supposed to be the very thing that cheers her up? Does that logic seem flawed to anyone else?

I’m pretty confident after the first week of this my wife would tell me if I really wanted to cheer her up I should leave for awhile, but wouldn’t I then be breaking the law?

I broke this law myself in about every possible way I could have. I joined the military shortly after our marriage. Believe me the military pestered me at home a few times. Seeing as my wife is still with me after 15 years I may have done alright with the cheering her up thing. You would have to ask her to know for sure though.

Be careful if this starts being taught from our pulpits cause somebody is going to have financially support all these newly married couples who can’t be bothered to even make a living for a year.