One summer a few years ago, our daughter was part of an all-state orchestra event. It involved her being away from home under the supervision of others. There would be several days of learning and practicing music, followed by a short tour of performances around the state. Parents were allowed to attend to any of the performances. We chose a couple that were closest to home.

At one of those performances we introduced ourselves to the director of the orchestra. “We’re Leigh’s parents,” we said proudly. “Oh,” he replied, “she has such a disarming sense of humor.” Not sure if that was meant as a compliment we stammered some response like, “Uh . . . thanks (I think).”

We knew all about disarming humor. We had a teenage daughter and I worked with teenagers professionally. Disarming humor is also called sarcasm. Teens are experts at it! They’re so good at it, they don’t even have to use words to communicate it. They have loads of facial expressions that drip with sarcasm. So, when he said, “she has such a disarming sense of humor” Debbie and I both figured there was more to this story . . . and we asked her about it at soon as she was home.

The rest of the story
Several of the orchestra members were struggling with one particularly difficult piece of music. The frustrated director, expressing his impatience, asked, “what’s wrong with you—why can’t you get this?” That’s when Jennifer said, “maybe it’s not the musicians—maybe it’s the arrangement.” There was silence in the music hall as her comment settled in, for everyone there (including her) knew that the stunned director was also the arranger. Yes . . . that’s our daughter, the one with a disarming sense of humor.

About the title
In a Bible study recently we were discussing the second chapter of Mark where Jesus is being condemned for eating with tax collectors and sinners. Jesus responds to their criticism by saying,

“It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” (Mk 2:17, TNIV)

I suggested that Jesus may have intended sarcasm in his response. A lively discussion followed.

Later I checked some other translations to see if any of them picked up on what I was seeing. The New Living Translation says it this way:

“I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners” (Emphasis mine).

Apparently they picked up on a little disarming humor. Once you read it as sarcasm, you can almost feel the tension in the air. Although Jesus is calling his detractors “righteous,” he means just the opposite. He’s really ridiculing them and daring them to get the joke.

Jesus taught, “Judge not that you be not judged.” Yet here were these Pharisees, thinking themselves better than the tax collectors and sinners that Jesus was hanging out with. “Why would you, a teacher of the Law, stoop so low as to associate with these . . . these . . . these . . . ugh, sinners?” they asked. “Well,” replies Jesus, “that’s because you good people (wink, wink) don’t need me” [Bob’s translation]. I wonder if any of the Pharisees realized the joke was on them, that the compliment was really backhanded, disarming humor and perhaps stammered some response like, “Uh . . . thanks (I think).”

We need to laugh at ourselves more. We need to not take ourselves so seriously. We need to see the log in our own eyes while looking for specks in others. We need to hear the humor that is meant to disarm, and while it may sting a little, it’s healthy to realize we’re not really the good people we think we are.